10/25/2012

Long Niall imagine


It's december. The snow is falling down from the sky to cover the black streets and green fields. You are sitting in your and Niall's bedroom looking out of the window. It's 2am and Niall is fast asleep. You can't sleep. You don't want to sleep. You don't want to wake up to another day just to go through the same shit you go through every day. It's hard to care about anything when your world is falling down. The worst part is that no-one knows, not even Niall. You can't tell him, he wouldn't understand. He would take you to the psychiatrist and that's the last thing you need. You don't want to hurt him, it's more safe for him if he doesn't know. Besides, who would love someone who has a really bad depression, who cuts, who hates herself more than anything, someone who doesen't even want to live? Then again, in the end of the day Niall is the reason for you to still wake up to another day. You love him to death. He's your everything. You've been together for almost a year and things between you two are perfectly fine. He is the best boyfriend someone could ask for but the problem is that you don't deserve him. After about half an hour of just sitting there and staring outside you hear Niall waking up. "Hey babe, what are you doing there?" "Oh, nothing Niall.. I just couldn't sleep" You say with a tired voice. "Awwh Y/N, come here" He says tapping your side of the bed. You get up and slowly walk to the bed. You lay down next to him as he puts his arm around you and kisses your cheek: "Try to sleep love, good night." "Okay, good night Nialler" You say and close your eyes. You still have difficulties to fall asleep because your mind is trying to explode, but gladly you have Niall close to you.

Next day you wake up quite late, Niall is already awake and he has made breakfast for you two. You walk to the kitchen and sit down next to him. "Good morning princess" He says kissing you deeply. "Morning" You answer. He gives you a questioning look but you just ignore it. You feel horrible. All you want to do is scream your lungs off and hurt yourself. "So Y/N, you remember I told you a few days ago I got this day off?" He asks. "Yeah, what about it?" You say. "Well.. I kinda have to go to work today.. We need to record one more song and then I have two weeks off. I hope it's okay to you." "Yeah, it's fine Niall" You say munching your toast and staring into the floor. "Good, I have to leave in 20 minutes and I'll probably be back at 6pm" He says trying to get an eye connection with you but you just keep staring at the floor. "Okay." You say getting up from your chair but when you try to walk past Niall back to your bedroom he catches you by your wrist and gets up himself. "What Niall?" You ask tired. "Nothing.. I just wanted to say I love you more than anything" He answers stroking your cheek. "I love you too Niall" You tell him "But can I go back to bed now? I'm tired as hell." "Sure you can babe, I'm going to leave now." "Okay Niall" You say walking to your bedroom. "Call or text me if you need something, love you!" He shouts and walks out of the door. Finally you're alone. You bury yourself under the blankets and pillows which are in your bed and start thinking: "Is Niall guessing something? Does someone know about my situation and has told Niall about it? Oh god I need to do something to myself, I can't live like this for the rest of my life. I can't live like this and I'm not going to get help so this won't get any better.. Only option I have is to...kill myself. No. I can't do that, I don't have enough courage. But then again, who would even miss me? Niall will get over me as soon as he got Demi, my family doesn't even love me and my friends have left me. I really have nothing to lose. Even directioners hate me! I'm useless and stupid.." Your mind is running faster than ever. You're panicking and that's why you need to get up and get a glass of water. You decide to take a look at twitter. It may not be the best idea but that's what you do. You start reading your mentions even though you know you shouldn't. "@Y/T/N Die, you stupid whore." "Guess what? @Y/T/N is a fat slut who only cares about Niall's money. D.I.E!!!" "I have no idea why Niall even is with @Y/T/N ! Look at her! I've never seen someone that ugly!" "That whore @Y/T/N stole my man, I'm going to rip her head off when I meet her!" Quickly you find yourself sobbing like crazy but still you continue reading. "Fat. Ugly. Whore. Who? Well, @Y/T/N!" "@Y/T/N You fucking bitch what do you think you're doing with Ni? I'm going to kill you!" "@Y/T/N Die! No-one will miss you!" "Why is @Y/T/N alive? Simply just to kill herself!" "@Y/T/N Even a pig is prettier than you!" As you roll further your mentions just gets worse. "Let's hunt @Y/T/N down and then show her what is the rollercoaster of life!" The hate is getting to you more than before but you just can't stop reading. You cry more than ever as you throw your phone away. You break down and run to your bathroom, throw all of the medicine cans on the floor trying to find your razor. It's not there. You run back to your bedroom. It's not there either. You start to cry even more. You run outside to you trash bin and turn it around. You can't find it. You start screaming like hell and run back inside. You are all wet because of the snow but you really don't care. All you care about is cutting. You need to feel the pain that cleans your mind. You want to see your blood flowing everywhere. You want to die. Because you can't find your razor you decide to break one of Niall's razorblades. You put all of your strenght together and throw it on the floor. It breaks and now you have a new razor. Quickly you swipe away the tears from your cheeks and press the razor to your wrist. Slowly you make the first cut. Not that deep cut it's still a cut. It's time for the next cut. It goes a bit deeper. You're making the third cut as you hear the front door opening and Niall shouting hello to you. At that moment you cut too deep and give out a little whine. "Y/N, where are you? Are you okay? I heard that!" Niall shouts. You just sit there blood running down your arms not making a noise. Niall quickly runs to the bathroom door and slowly opens it. His face changes at the moment he sees you.

"OMG Y/N WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE!?" "Y/N CAN YOU HEAR ME!?" Niall shouts running to you. You don't even blink, just watch the blood running down on the floor. He hugs you tight as you cry. "I'm so-sorry Ni, I-I-I really am.." You stutter. He slowly caresses your back telling it's okay.  He helps you stand up and walks you to the sink. All you can do is cry quietly as he cleans your cuts and covers them up with patches. Then he picks you up and carries you to your bedroom. He lays you down and puts a blanket on you and then comes and lays next to you. "Babe.." Niall says quietly. You just start crying more and bury your head into his chest. "You could've told me you were feeling bad..." He continues. "I-I know Niall, but I w-was afraid y-y-you wouldn't u-understa-and" You stuttered between tears. "Of course I understand you Y/N! It's driving me crazy to know you've been suffering all by yourself when I've been right next to you." He says starting to sob. "I-I-I just didn't want to hurt you!" You cry to him. "It hurts me way more to know you can't talk to me about this. Now, tell me please what's this all about. I promise I'll understand." Niall assures you. "You promise you're not going to leave me, and you'll love me just as much as before?" You ask hugging him tight. "Of course, you silly girl!" He laughs a little. "Well I've just been so depressed because of all the hate I get from your fans and it's just hard for me to handle this all.." You tell trying not to break down again. "And I feel like I don't deserve you because you are an amazing boyfriend and I'm just a stupid depressed piece of poo.. How could I deserve you? You deserve so much better than I am..." You say sobbing. Niall looks you right in the eyes telling: "Y/N, first of all I'm so fucking sorry for our fans, I promise to make it stop. Second of all, you think you don't deserve me? Are you kidding me. I don't deserve you! You are the most amazing persone I've ever, EVER, met. You are like an angel, the most beautiful, breathtaking creature on earth. I hope you know how much I love you because the truth is, I'd be lost without you. I have no idea how I was so lucky to get you and I will never let go. You mean the world to me Y/N, I love you." "Oh Niall I love you too, more than anything! I promise not to do this ever again." You say pressing your lips to his. You two share a long, deep kiss, both crying. After a moment Niall wipes away your tears and says: "Y/N we'll get through this, together. Believe me" and kisses you again. You fall asleep and when you wake up you start a battle against depression but you're stronger than ever, because you have Niall by your side. From that moment to forever.



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Okay so this was the first thing I wrote in about 6 months so don't judge me too much. It was kinda hard to write. I'm really sorry if there's typos or grammar mistakes, but I'm not english so yeah.
Remember my dear, if you even feel like you need to talk, I'm always here. Tweet me @jennaHEARTniall and we'll figure out a way to chat in private. You should never be alone, and believe me when I say I know how you feel, I've been there and I still am.

Thank you for reading this imagine! Feedback is appreciated :D


10/24/2012

SORRY

I'm soooooo sorry for not writing anything in a long long time, I will try to write something soon (just like I said two months ago...). I'm just so stressed because of school and life has been pretty hard for the last two years, and it doesn't get better (just been worse for 3 months, but now I think it's changing) so I really haven't had any urge to write.
I just came here to ask all of you my lovely readers to follow my new spam formspring SpamLove1D  and to be patient. I don't really even have any ideas of imagines/preferences to write so we'll see.

I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH<3

4/23/2012

Niall Imagine

#Imagine Niall is your best friend and that's why you are great friends with all of the other boys from One Direction. You've known Niall for about an year already, you met at Nando's. Together you've been through thick and thin, everything. He's always there for you and you are there for him. You broke up with your ex about 3 months ago and after that you and Niall have just became closer. He was with you every single minute of a day, he took care of you. If you needed to cry you cried on his shoulder. If you needed to talk you talked to him and he was listening. He heard every word you said and really cared. That's when this all started. You have had a little crush on him for all this time after you broke up. But you're not going to ruin your friendship by telling him, or that's what you think. The thing is: you don't know that he has a huge crush on you too. Actually, no-one knows. You haven't been talking that much for the past month because he's been away and you've had to do so much schoolwork. You miss all of the boys so much. Good thing is that they're coming back home tomorrow! Even though you miss them very much you're not going to the airport to see them because you just don't feel like being in the middle of the all of the attention. Suddenly your phone vibrates, you get text from Zayn. "Hi Y/N, are you coming to the airport tomorrow? We just would like to know cuz we miss you loads! x" You're a bit disappointed because it wasn't from Niall, but still it said that they all miss you so it's okay. "Noo.. I'm sorry. Can we meet later somewhere, all of us? x" You text back. You have no idea what you're going to say if he asks why not. "Ok then, it's okay.. but yeah of course we can! Do you want us to come to your place? x" Zayn answers. You hope they didn't get mad because you're not going to the airport. "Yeah, that'd be nice. I'll order pizza for us if some of you texts me when you're landed" You text him and put your phone away. You decide to clean little and then go to bed because you kinda know that next day will be a long one.

Next morning you wake up at 11am. You slept over 10 hours last night and you're feeling good. "This is going to be a wonderful day" You say to yourself and walk downstairs. Sun is shining and it's warm, a nice spring weather. Only thing you'd like to know is when the boys are back. At the same time the boys are sitting on a plane. Louis, Harry and Liam at 3rd row and Niall and Zayn at 7th. They're sitting so far away because someone messed up with their seats, but that's good actually, now Niall and Zayn can talk without anyone else to hear. Niall has decided to tell Zayn about his crush on you.
"Oh gosh what am I going to say.. I really need to tell Zayn about my crush towards Y/N, but how?" Niall thinks. Then he opens his mouth: "Umm Zayn..?" "Yeah Niall?" Zayn answers. "I was just wondering.. Do you have a crush on anybody right now?" Niall continues. Zayn looks at him and thinks a while. "Noo, I don't think so.. Do you?" "Yeah.. Or well, while we've been away from home I think I'm in love with her" Niall says with a smile on his face. Zayn smiles too. "That's great! Do I know that girl?" "I think so.. She's the most amazing girl I've ever met.. Her hair, eyes, voice, everything. I love it how I can talk to her about everything. I love it how she tells me everything.. I've been missing her so much and I can't wait to see her tonight" Niall tells. After a few seconds he realizes what he just told Zayn. Zayn is just grinning next to him. "Waaaaaaait blondie, are you talking about Y/N? You have a crush on Y/N!?" Now Niall's cheeks are red and he's just smiling there and Zayn understands that he got it right. A big smile appears to his face because Zayn if someone knows that you two would be perfect together. "Do you know if I have any chances to get her?" Niall asks him shyly. "Heck yeah you do!" Zayn answers laughing. "I mean, can't you see it? You two are best friends and obviously more than that! You two are closer than Harry and Louis!" "I quess so then.." Niall says and start smiling again. "I really can't wait to see her again, it's been so long." "You need to tell her tonight, I want you to be a couple as soon as possible, end of discussion, you'll tell her tonight" Zayn tells Niall, and that makes Niall quiet. "I don't know how... What if she doesn't feel the same.. What if I ruin everything.. Zayn can you tell her" Niall panics. "1. You will find a way. 2. She feels the same way, I know it. 3. You will not ruin anything, it will just make your heart finally complete and 4. I'm not telling her, you are." Zayn says determinedly leaving Niall speechless. "Fine." Niall says and acts mad, but he bursts into laughter in seconds. The clock is coming closer to 4pm and the boys' flight is about to land. You're trying to find a great movie for the night. You've looked every place in your house without finding anything. That's why you decide to text Zayn to tell that they have to bring a movie with them when they come, but at the same moment as you take your phone out of your pocket it vibrates. You got a text, from Liam this time. "Zayn told me to tell you when we're landed so here we are, finally! He also told me to tell you that we're there in 1 hour xx Love you!" You get a smile on your face, you're going to see them in one hour! "Thanksyouuu Liam xx Btw, could you pretty please bring a movie with you because I have nothing to watch cc:" You text back. "Ok lovely, we'll bring something xx" Liam tells. You go upstairs and change your clothes. You decide to wear blue jeans, a black top and white t-shirt. Your hair is nicely down and you have your heart earrings on. It's time to order some pizza before the boys come. You order 4 large pizzas because you know Niall will eat a lot, and well, they're boys so you need to have much food. Clock is around 5.30pm and you know the boys will be there anytime, and that's when the doorbell rings.. It actually doesn't matter because in 1 second they are inside your house with pizzas you ordered. "GUYS! Did you pay?" You laugh at them. "Of course sweety" Louis says and comes to hug you. Next person who hugs you is Liam. "I missed you so much" He whispers to your ear. Then you see Harry running towards you and he's just shouting your name. You almost fall over because he just jumps on you. He kisses your head and then lets you go and runs away. "Wow, what's wrong with him?" You say and start laughing. You see Zayn and Niall standing next to each other and you can hear them whispering. "Zayn! Niall! Nice to see you too!" You shout at them and grin a little. Zayn pushes Niall towards youu and he blushes a little. By that you start smiling and your hands get sweaty. "Hi Niall, I missed you so much" You say and hug him tight, tighter than the others. He gently rubs your back. "I've missed you too Y/N, but who would miss you?" "Let me tell you... Zayn obviously" You say a bit louder so Zayn can hear. He comes behind Niall and smiles sweetly. "Niall, can I hug her too to show I've missed her?" Zayn says and winks. You really don't know why he winked but whatever. "Well okay Zayn" Niall laughs and let's you go. Zayn hugs you and you smile at him. You are all very happy to see each other again. You have so many things to talk about.

As the afternoon goes by and nighttime comes closer you start watching the movie boys bought. It's a horror movie called Eden Lake. There's only one sofa in your house so some of yous need to sit or lay on the floor or take a chair. Niall is already sitting on sofa so you sit next to him, you got the best place to be already. There's one place left on the sofa. At first you think no-one's going to take it but then suddenly Harry jumps on it and Louis sits on his lap. Liam and Zayn sits on the floor and you start watching the movie. Usually you don't get scared while watching horror movies, but this movie is different. Before you know you're tightly in Niall's arms and he's telling you it's ok. You notice that Zayn and Niall are switching looks, something's going on. You give Niall an questionable look but he ignores it. You're leaning on his shoulder and he has his arms around you. The other boys are looking at you weirdly all the time. After the movie ends they leave you two alone to your livingroom. You hear the others going to upstairs. Because you're alone with Niall you start to blush a little. You lean away from his shoulder to calm yourself down before looking at him. "So Y/N... How have you been?" He asks shyly. "Fine.. Been quite busy with school stuff and missed you loads" You answer, still not looking at him. "How about you" "I've been great, though, missed you very much, but it's been amazing to tour around america, meet new fans and stuff." Niall tells. "Btw, Y/N, I'm sorry for not calling or texting you that much, I hope you didn't thing we forgot you, because honestly we didn't" He continues and blushes a little. You look at him with a smile on your face and butterflies flying around your stomach. You really want to tell how you feel, but just no.. Suddenly Niall comes closer to you.. Someone closes the lights and you see candles all over you, you have no idea how they came there because you didn't hear anyone coming down to set them. You're looking Niall in the eyes when he starts talking: "Y/N, I know we're best friends but I wanna be more. I'm in love with you. Every time I talk to you I get butterflies and I feel like the words are not coming out anymore. You're the most amazing person I've ever met, and I want to show to the world how much you mean to me, so Y/N, would you please be my girlfriend?" Your eyes gets teary. You wouldn't EVER believe this. You put your other hand behind Niall's neck and kiss him sweetly on lips. "I love you too Niall" You whisper as he lays you down to the sofa. He kisses you deeply as the other boys starts singing Take Me To Your Heart by Michael Learns To Rock. You spend an amazing night together and next day you see a pic of you and Niall kissing on twitter, posted by Harry. Everyone thinks you are perfect for each other.


Feedback? This is not that good but whatever, there might be a lot of typos and grammar mistakes because I'm too tired to read it again and English isn't my main language :DD

4/20/2012

Zayn Imagine

#Imagine You're looking at a picture of you and Zayn, your boyfriend. Without any feelings you let go of the picture which slowly falls on the floor, not like a feather but not like rock either. You are deeply in your thoughts. Actually you have no idea what you're thinking. You just sit there, with an empty look in your eyes. They are glazed, your eyes are glazed. You don't feel anything. This happens for the first time in years. Something isn't right. You are tired and very fed up with this situation; Zayn is touring somewhere behind god's back [don't take seriously] and you're at home, alone, without anyone to take care of you, without anyone to talk to. Of course there's your friends and family & Danielle and Eleanor, but the only one you want to be taking care of you and to talk to is Zayn. He's been away for so long. You can't even remember how long, or when he's coming back. Zayn has been very busy for past three days so he hasn't even called you, but you understand. You want to hear his voice, you want to hug him, kiss him longer than ever. You want him to be home. As minutes and hours goes by you start wondering what he's doing. You wanna call him but you know he wouldn't answer. He will call you when he gets time... After 2 hours you've fallen asleep on the couch.

You wake up at about 11am because your back is aching so much. You grab your phone and notice someone has texted you. The text message is from Zayn, it says: "Morning babe, I love you. I'm sorry for not calling you in days, been very busy! I hope you can forgive me, coming home today xx Z." You smile a little, your boyfriend is coming finally home. You stop smiling quickly. Getting the text doesn't feel as good as it's supposed to. There's still something in your mind from yesterday. You can still say everything's not alright, something's missing, or not. You start to feel like you can't handle this relationship anymore. You try to find a reason for what you are feeling. It could be all of the media attention and fans, but then, you love the boys' fans, directioners. Of course it's not nice to have paparazzi around you when you're trying to have fun with Zayn and girls are stalking you everytime you go out but you've got used to it. Kinda..Almost..Ok not exactly. It annoys you especially when you try to hang out with your friends. All you want is a little privacy, but you understand well. Zayn is famous and as his girlfriend you are famous too, this is kinda the price you have to pay for being with him. That should be enough, but no. You are getting hate from some of the fans. Some of the haters sends you death threats, some of them are trying to edit pictures of Zayn to look like he's cheating on you. You decide to take a look at twitter to find out what's going on. You scroll down your timeline and see a tweet from Zayn telling he's coming home to see his beautiful girlfriend. Then you see some girls tweeting Zayn that you are not enough for him but you don't classify it as hate. You open your mentions and what do you see? People hating on you more than before. One of the tweets goes like this: "You flacking whore, don't you know what pretty means? Of course not hahaha you ugly cow." The next one is: ")': I feel bad for Zayn because he really trust a slut. Have an idea who I'm talking about, slut?" You're starting to feel sick because all of these tweets. Then one jumps to your face: "Y/N. I want to strangle you by my own, bare hands. I want to bury you alive. Can't you see? Everyone hates you! Die." That's enough. You close your twitter and walk into your kitchen to get something to eat, your eyes are wet and you're close to tears. "I need to be tough for today, then I can end this" You say to yourself and swallow your tears. As the day goes by you find yourself thinking deeply so many times that you can't even count them anymore. The clock is coming closer to 8pm and Zayn will be home soon. Before he comes you want to make some hot chocolate and think a bit more before you act. You think about when you're going to do it; right after Zayn has come home or a bit later or do you leave it for tomorrow? No, you gotta do it tonight, you can't wait longer because you really can't handle this all. While you're thinking Zayn comes home. "Babe I'm home!" He shouts and sees you sitting in kitchen. You've been living at Zayn's for the time he's been away. Before you can even think what he said you're in his arms, hugging him tighter than ever or actually he's hugging you. He kisses your head and smiles like an angel. Zayn takes some hot chocolate too and sits down. "How's my baby?" He asks and still smiles like never before. "Ok.." You say and stare at the table. Zayn notices everything isn't right. "Hey.. What's going on?" He continues your little convo while trying to catch your eyes...

You haven't said anything for 5 minutes already. Zayn's just staring at you and you still at the table. How can you ever say what you are going to say? He will be so hurt. "Zayn..." You say weakly. He takes your hands and tries to look you in the eyes again."I can't do this anymore.." You continue "I feel like I can't handle this relationship anymore, this is too much ok? I have no privacy, we have no privacy! Everyone hates me and wants me to die. And then, you're away so many times in a month, I just miss you all the time, especially when you can't call me. It's killing me.. This is killing me.." Zayn is almost crying and you just started. He can't believe his ears. "Y/N... You don't love me anymore? Or is it just about fans and paparazzi and that I'm away? Please tell me you still love me, even if you have to lie! I can't live if the only one who I believe in says she doesn't love me anymore.." Now he cries and you feel worse than ever but you've decided to be tough, you can't give up. "I love you.. But I just can't do this any longer! It would be a different thing if I wouldn't get any hate! Or at least not death threats, but right now it's just impossible to be in this relationship. I really hope you understand what I'm saying.. Goodbye Zayn, I love you" You stand up and start walking towards the door. One tear finds a way out to your cheek but you wipe it away quickly. Zayn's body is numb. He doesn't move or say anything. You pick your only bag you have with you and touch the doorhandle. So many thoughts are in your head. By seeing Zayn's reaction you don't know anymore if you should stay or just go. You have no idea what's on Zayn's mind. "Baby please stay.." He whispers after a while. This is not what you wanted to happen, not at all. You can't leave, you don't want to leave, but if this relationship will be like this you can't stay either. "Please Y/N take one more breath and really think are you going to the right direction.. It's ok if you really want to go.. But please, think one more time because I think there's nowhere else we should be tonight.. We belong together" Zayn says and wipes his tears. You drop your bag and walk to him: "I'm not promising not to leaving, but let's talk a little.." He takes your hand and leads you to the couch and you both sit down. He takes his wallet from his pocket, opens it and shows you a picture.. The same picture you were watching yesterday.. "Look at us.. We look so young even though it's been ONLY two years.. " You smile and give him a little laugh. "I really missed that laugh" He smiles back at you but then get's serious and starts talking again. "Look Y/N, if you go now, I promise I'll understand. If you stay I already have a plan.." "A plan.. Zayn what are you talking about?" You look at him with questionable eyes. "We'd go out.. Only us two. I really wanna make everything up to you. Just you and me for the whole day, no fans no paparazzi... -" "But how?" You cut him off. "Honey, there's still 4 other members in One Direction, boys will help me!" Zayn laughs and continues "So yeah, we'd go to a fancy restaurant and then spend the rest of the day at a private beach. I would really like to have another day like we once had.. Us two at beach, singing, writing songs.. Just making new memories to share with our future children!" Thought of you two as parents makes you smile like an idiot. "We can get through this, I will make the hate and death threats stop and I promise to spend more time with you.. I mean, if you stay..." Zayn ends his little speech. You look at him and your eyes are sparkling. For the first time in a long time you feel good, really good actually. "Well? I still can't read your mind Y/N" He laughs. "Oh Zayn" You whisper and shoot him down to the couch. You sit on his stomach and kiss his lips for minutes. "I love you Y/N, don't you ever scare me like this again" He says and kisses your nose. "I won't, I love you too Zayn, I really do" You say and press yourself close against Zayn's chest, happier than ever.



Feedback is very welcome xx I'm sorry if there's any typos, English isn't still my main language xx

4/13/2012

Harry Imagine

#Imagine Harry has been your boyfriend for about 8 months already. He went to see his family for the weekend so you're spending it mostly with Zayn. Of course the other boys will be with you too, but not as much as Zayn. He's your best friend out of them besides Harry. You love both of them very much, in a different ways though, Zayn as a best friend and Harry as your boyfriend. You don't really know why Zayn is your best friend. Maybe because he's a great listener and you tell him a lot of things and that's why you became so close. He really understands you and helps you too. When you're having hard time with Harry Zayn's the one who helps you and lets you cry on his shoulder. Then there's your boyfriend, lovely, lovely Harry. He's the most amazing person you've ever met. He's funny and just knows how to make you smile. You can tell him everything too, I mean just EVERYTHING. Harry stays up for all night if you have to talk about something that's bothering you, or if there's something wrong. They both really care about you and the love between you and Harry is something unreal. It grows day by day and you don't know what would you do without him. Then comes the dramatic but... There's one thing you can't tell them, even to Harry. They wouldn't understand. You know you need to tell at least to Harry but you just can't. You think he would hate you. It's about you and your mind.. You've been a bit depressed lately but you don't know why. The depression just grows inside you, it doesn't go away. Sometimes when you sit on Harry's lap you feel like you want to scream and cry but you just swallow your tears because you don't want him to know. He would get too worried.. You think about what you did yesterday, these cut marks on your left wrist.. It's saturday today and you're going to Zayn's. You're wearing a hoodie to cover your arms and wrists so Zayn won't see what you've done to yourself. You just walk inside and shout Hello. You see him sitting on the sofa and you go sitting next to him. "What are we going to do today Zayn?" You ask. You notice he has been sitting there for a while because he looks like he's deeply in his thoughts. You wait for the answer. "I think we could watch some old pics, then eat maybe some pizza and watch a movie and just talk" He says after a little time and smiles at you. "Sounds veeery good! I love watching old pictures of us" You laugh and he hugs you. "I waited for that sweet laugh Y/N. By the way, Harry texted me today something like this: 'Behave well when you're around Y/N, I will kill you if you do something to her, much love bro xx H (:'" Zayn tells and starts laughing. "You know Harry" You say smiling and blushing a little.

After talking about Harry being so protective over you you start to look for some photo albums. Zayn brings you a chair so you can reach them. You roll your sleeves back without remembering the cut marks on your wrist and start to reach for the oldest one of the albums (which is quite far away). Of course he sees your cut marks but doesn't say anything. After 5 minutes you remember the marks. "Shit!" You shout and roll your sleeves back down. Zayn looks at you with a strange look. You think he didn't see them because he didn't ask anything. After what happened Zayn doesn't speak that much and again you can tell that he's thinking deeply something. You've watched every single pic Zayn has and you've been eating pizza at the same time too so now is time to watch a movie but obviously Zayn doesn't think so. "Y/N... Could you please follow me" He says and starts walking towards his bedroom. Zayn sits down and you sit next to him. "Is something wrong Zayn?" You ask but he ignores you. "Do you want to talk about something" He says "Like about anything." "Noo, not really" You say and realize that he saw your wrist earlier. Zayn looks hurt and takes your hand. You close your eyes as he rolls your sleeves up and watches your left wrist. "Are you sure Y/N..." He says and tries to look you in the eyes. You quickly look at him but then you just break down crying. Zayn holds you and you tell everything to him. "Does Harry know about your depression?" He asks worried. You just shake your head. You feel so bad, but it's good to know that Zayn didn't get mad but Harry's a different thing. "I hope you realize that you have to tell him" Zayn says. You can't believe your ears. "Zayn please don't tell him, I beg you! He will hate me!" You start to cry again. "He won't.." He says and comforts you. "I don't know can I promise not to tell because he's my best friend too" He continues and but you just stare at one corner. You spend the night with Zayn because he doesn't want you to be alone right now. About at 12pm you go home. "Hi babe, I will be home at 6 I think. We have to meet our management today with boys so I come after that, love you xx H" Harry texts. He will see Zayn..

The clock is 20 minutes past 6pm. You're sitting on your and Harry's bed as you hear the door opening. Harry is home. "Y/N...?" He shouts quietly, sounding upset. Zayn must have told him. You decide to ignore Harry and just sit there. Harry comes to your room. You have still the same hoodie on that you had yesterday. He walks towards you and you can tell he's not in a good mood. "How are you babe?" He asks. "Umm... I'm ok, a bit tired.." You answer with your eyes on the floor. "How about you Haz?" "Well what you think?" He says speaking a little louder. You just stare at him for a while and then look down again. "Show me" He says with a cold vibe in his voice. You look at him with teary eyes, begging him to stop whatever he's doing in his mind. "SHOW ME!" He shouts and you jump a little and start crying. "I knew you would be mad! You just make me suffer even more!" You shout and tears are flowing down your face like two rivers. Harry starts ripping your sleeves up your arms so he can see by himself. "Harry! Stop! You're hurting me!" You cry but he just continues. You stop fighting against him because you know he's stronger than you, you would just get hurt. Harry manages to get your sleeves up. He sees the deep cut marks on your left wrist. The only thing you can do is cry while he's looking at your wrist. "So it was true.." He whispers but then gets angry again "Why didin't you tell me Y/N!?" You can't say anything. You are scared and you don't want to fight with your boyfriend who you love, no matter what happens. "How can I even trust you again!? How can I be with you anymore if I can't trust you!? What else you haven't told me? You and Zayn have been cheating on me?" Harry shouts. He is totally furious. "WHAT!?" You shout back at him after hearing what he said about you and Zayn. "Harry you gotta be kidding me! Do you really think I would..?!" "How can I know you aren't lying?!" He shouts. "I wouldn't ever, do you hear me? EVER cheat on the one I love with every part of my heart!" You shout back. How can he even think like that? Harry stays quiet for a while, maybe he's trying to control his anger. "HARRY STYLES COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHY YOU ARE ACTING LIKE THIS?!?!?!?" You ask shouting "I haven't done anything wrong to you!" "That's a lie and you know that! Why did I hear about your depression from Zayn and not you!? Are you telling everything to him before me?" He asks but he's still half shouting. While Harry's trying to calm himself down something happens in your head; all because of he mentioned Zayn. "HONESTLY HARRY! IS THIS ALL ABOUT ZAYN?!?!? YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO JEALOUS!" You shout louder than ever "And I didn't even want to tell him! I DIDN'T WANT TO! He just saw those cuts and then I had to explain!" And here you both go again, Harry gets angrier. You both are considering to leave the house, but none of you really does it. You've been fighting for an hour already. You are crying and he's close to tears too. "That's it, I'm done with all this, I'm done with YOU and your stupid little depression. Just go and kill yourself then if you want. I'm leaving now" Harry says suddenly and stars to walk away. "Ok Harry, just go and find a girl to fuck, I'M SO DONE WITH YOU TOO, I HATE YOU!" You shout after him and break down crying. The words 'Go and kill yourself' went straight to your head. Right now you really want to do like he said, you feel so bad but angry at the same time. How can he come home and just start fighting? How can he even say that go and kill yourself'...?

As days go by you are still mad at Harry. Every single one out of One Direction has been trying to call and text you but you're ignoring all of them, especially Harry. One day Niall comes behind your door and you open it because you don't know that Niall is there. "Y/N, I'm glad you're alright!" He says and hugs you tight. You two sit down on your sofa and that's when Niall realizes you've been only crying for all these days. "Harry came to us that night.." He starts "And his eyes were so red and swollen. He looked horrible.." You just look at him and start to cry again. Niall holds you in his arms and continues: "Harry told us everything" "Did he tell he told me to go and kill myself?" You ask and look at the ground. "Yes, he did. Liam and Zayn got angry like hell and I started to cry. Louis was just sitting there.. No-one really understood what happened, especially Harry" Niall tells. You can't say anything. Why in hell did he tell everything? Was he regretting? "Look, Y/N. Harry really is sorry and regrets everything he said and did.. But he was just so worried about you. I know it didn't look like it, but still.. I hope you give him another chance." Niall finishes his little speech, hugs you for the last time and leaves. You decide to take a look at the messages Harry has sent to you. "If I could only turn back time... I would do everything in a different way. I sould've been holding you in my arms, telling that 'everything's gonna be alright'. Gosh Y/N! I feel so stupid. I hope we can talk about what will happen next one day but right now I just want to say I'm sorry for being such an ass, I hope you can give me another chance xx With lots of kisses, your Harry" After reading that you change your mind and call him. In 15 minutes Harry is already sitting on your bed, in your house where you both should live in. "So.... Where is our relationship going..?" You whisper and look at your toes but he doesn't answer. You get disappointed and start to think he doesn't  really care but then he opens his mouth: "Umm.. You know they say that you realize what you have after you lose it.. That happened to me.." He keeps quiet for a moment and so do you. "Y/N I really don't want to lose you. You're the sun for my sky, you're the birds that fly high, you're all those shadows that passes me by, but you're the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. I was so stupid for starting to fight with you and now it's tearing me apart. Every time I see you I feel like flying. Your hair, eyes, lips, nose, cheeks, ears, body.. Every single part in you. I love my life but then I love you so much more. I just can't life without you." Harry's crying now. You hate to see him like this. He looks at you with teary eyes asking you to forgive him. "Harry I..." You start "I just can't forget what you said.." That's the final point, Harry breaks down, falls on the floor to his knees and just cries. "Oh Harry please don't cry!" You say after a while and fall next to him. You lock your arms around him and just comfort him. "Y/N Please frogive me... I don't want to be without you.. You're my everything" He whispers. You don't say anything, you just lift his chin up and kiss him, long and passionately. "I forgive you" You whisper back and kiss him again. "Thank you baby, I love you so much" He says quietly and you wipe his tears away. You spend the rest of the day laying in each others arms, not saying anything, just being there and listening to the beautiful silence.


Okay, this isn't my best ones, not at all but I hope you liked it. Please tell me what you think! There might be some things written wrong but that's because English isn't my own language. Thanks for reading!

4/09/2012

Niall Imagine (like a dream I saw last night ;o)

#Imagine You are dating Niall from One Direction. You're sitting in English class, in the last row next to the window. Nobody knows you two are really dating besides you two of course, the other boys and Paul. You think he's in some other country far away from the country you live in. You miss him so, so much and because you are really bored you decide to text him. Before you start to write the text message someone knocks to our classroom's door. Everyone turns their heads to the door, including you. Your English teacher slowly walks there and opens it... You hear the person on the door saying: "I'm sorry to bother you, but is Y/N here?" You recognize his beautiful Irish accent; it belongs to your gorgeous boyfriend, Niall.

With a little hesitation your teacher manages to say: "Yes, she is." The door is fully open now so everyone can see him. Your classmates are totally breatheless and so is your teacher. They can't believe their eyes and they are just staring at him with their mouths open. Then almost at the same time they look at you and back at Niall. You are just sitting there in tears because you really don't know is this true or are you just dreaming. "I'm sorry but Y/N has to come with me now" Niall says and breaks the silence. You don't react at all so he walks to your desk to see if everything's ok. You look like a scared mouse because you are in shock. You can't move or say even a word. Niall touches your hand and then you realize that it's really true. You just jump in his arms and start to cry. He laughs and kisses you like never before. A few girls of your class looks are you with faces full of jealousy but you don't care about them, your boyfriend is there to protect you. Niall puts you down and takes your books. You two walk to your locker. You put your books to your bag. "Niall what are we doing now?" You ask smiling. "We're going to get something to eat and then go to your place" He answers and helps you to get your coat on. You have everything with you so you're ready to leave school for the rest of the day. On the way to home you stop at local Hesburger to get some food to eat.

You get home with Niall and food. You guys eat and talk about everything but still you don't know how he had time to come to you for a day or two before their next tour. You've asked it, but he just doesn't answer, so you let it be. You think that he didn't even tell Paul, but you don't really care. The main thing is that he's there. The clock is about 8pm. You start watching a horror movie called Friday the 13th (the original one). You lay on Niall's chest and he plays with your hair and kisses your head. You feel like the luckiest girl in the world, and maybe that's what you are. You are so scared during the movie but Niall's there to calm you down. His strong arms feels more safe than anything else. After the movie you go to your room, it's 10pm. Niall closes the door and locks it. He turns the light on and you lay down on your bed. You remember that you have some homework to do, so you do ít together. It takes only about 30 minutes and you're back in your bed. You're very tired. Suddenly Niall gets up, turns the light off and jumps on you. It's completely dark, you can't see anything. Niall's sitting on you, you feel his warm breath on your face. Almost out of nowhere he kisses you passionately and lays down next to you. He wraps his arms around you and starts singing a beautiful lovesong called If You're Not the One by Daniel Bedingfield. He strokes your hair at the same time. You slowly start to fall asleep and he notices it because of your breath is getting heavier. Niall kisses your forehead, then nose and then lips. Then he strokes your cheek and starts whispering: "Goodnight beautiful, I don't ever want to lose you my little princess. You are my everything and I hope you know that. I won't let anyone hurt you and I will always love you, no matter what others say or think. I believe I've finally found the love of my life." He wraps his arms around you again and sings again:
"If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?"

You are still a bit awake. You can hear the he's crying tears of pure happiness, it's the first time he does it. "I love you Niall" You whisper and press your lips against his chest. He smiles and looks at you but you fell asleep. He starts to drift asleep too. You two sleep peacefully the whole night, when you're in his arms nothing can hurt you<3


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That's it. Please leave a comment or something. If there's something wrong I say I'm sorry but remember that english isn't my main language. And sorry because this imagine isn't tha long comparing to my others ; s

4/06/2012

Louis Imagine (a bit Larry Stylinson related)

#Imagine You're playing hide and seek with Louis. You've been searching for him for about 30 minutes alread but you can't find him. There's only one place where he can be and it's far, or well, not that far away from your home: Harry's place. You decide just to watch some TV before going to Harry's; if Louis don't come back. This is your and Louis' version of hide and seek. When he's hiding he usually goes to Harry's place and then you see which one of you gives up first. In your game giving up means that the one who "gives up" comes back home (or you go to Harry's place to find Louis) because that person can't be without the other any longer. You sit down and open the TV. "Nahh, noo, ew, not a good song, shitty movie, nope, news..." You don't find anything to watch so you order pizza. "Bwahhahahaa Louis doesn't know what he's missing" You laugh.

It's been about 2 hours already. "Louiiiiiis, please come back" You think but you're not going to give up, not yet. You know that Louis and Harry are having fun together, talking 'bout things and stuff and what you are doing? Nothing. You're getting really bored without Louis. He's your everything: when you're upset he makes you laugh. When you need to talk he's always there to listen. What ever happens he's always there for you, only for you. You can really trust him. He's funny, sweet and because of him you have 4 caring brothers more. After your deep thinking sesh you have to see Louis. You want to kiss him passionately and tell him how much you love him. You put on your shoes and coat. You find your keys and lock the door after you. The weather is wonderful, a bit cold, not too cold and sun is shining. You put your headphones on and start walking to Harry's. On your way you think about everything. So many girls would kill to be you! You're so happy and you can't stop smiling. Now you're in front of the right house. You just walk in and shout: "I give up! Louis give me a kiss!" He runs to you as fast as he's able. Before you know he's standing in front of you. "So you want me to kiss you, what about Harry, he'll get hurt" Louis says grinning mischievously. "Oh, you were having a Larry Stylinson quality time?" You say and act upset. Harry runs behind Louis' back. "What is she doing here? Did she give up? WHY Y/N!?!? I want to continue our little Larry Stylinson moment" Harry says while looking you up and down. Of course he's joking, like all of you. "Okay then. I quess I'm going" You turn around and sob a little. "Okay, okay, okay, okay baby you won! Don't go" Louis says quickly and hugs you from behind. You kiss his cheek. "I like that reaction" You smile. You two say bye to Harry and then walk home.

Louis opens the door and you take off your coat and shoes, so does he. Suddenly he takes you from the ground and carries you upstairs. You're both laying in your bed. Louis' arms are around you and your head is on his chest. "Louis.." You whisper. "Yeah Y/N, is everything alright?" He asks and strokes your hair. "Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that I love you soo very much and I don't ever wanna lose you" You say smiling widely. "Aww baby, you're so sweet. I love you so, so much too, I don't know where I'd be without you" Louis tells and his eyes gets wet. "...but I just wanna know.. Why me?" You say. Louis looks at you like never seen a human before "And why in hell my pretty baby is asking things like that?" "Well, I just thought about it.. I really feel like the luckiest girl in the world because I have you. Louis, I love you so much, don't you ever forget that. Sometimes it's so hard to realize that this really is true" You say and blush a little. "Oh baby, this is one of the reasons I love you, you're so honest and true. Aand for you to know, I don't really know why you, it just happened, but I'm sure that I'm not letting you go" He says and kisses you softly on lips. You two talk for few hours and then you just fall asleep while he's singing the most beautiful lovesong you've ever heard, Only For You, For LOUIS' Beautiful Girlfriend.


Okay, sorry this is not that long. Please tell me what you think. And I say this again, English is not my main language, so there might be a few things written wrong etc